Inspired
2004-07-27 || 2:47 p.m.

Inspired

I read an entry today that sparked a little flame inside me that had just about gone out. My creativity. I was reading my girl bethany's latest entry about how she doesn't do certain creative things that used to make her so happy in the past and realized that I am in the same boat. I used to be so creative. Photography was a big passion of mine and Music.....well music still is but in a different way. I used to write lyrics and music constantly and I got such satisfaction from it that it defined who I was for many years. What I mean by that is that you could just see it on my face. I mean that's who I was and that's who I was going to be. A singer/songwriter, there was never any doubt in my mind. I havn't written anything in quite awhile. I'm not really sure why. I look back at those days and I was so happy. I felt like I was really good at something that not a lot of people were good at and not to sound cocky but.....I was really good at it. I'm not one for showing my emotions but get me up on a stage and let me express my emotions with a song and you'll see a whole different side to me. I miss that feeling. I still perform all the time but it's different than writing and performing your own material. We play covers and while this is so much fun and satisfying it's not the same. You always hear these songwriters talking about their songs and saying "my songs are like my children, I love each and everyone for different reasons" or some shit like that. Well ya know what.....they're right! In a sense a song that you have written is a part of your life, a tiny peice of your soul exibited so that everyone can see it and take from it whatever it is that it means to them. But first and foremost it belongs to the writer. The writer is related to it forever.

The bottom line is that I have to start putting things on paper again for my own good. I slowly see myself slipping into a place that I never thought that I would go. I think , as far as I'm concerned, that my creativity is the most important part of who I am and I need to get that part back.

This diaryland thing has helped me in so many ways. It's helped me express my emotions a little easier( a work in progress). It's also been a place to vent my frustrations instead of keeping them all bottled up inside of me. And it's been inspiring as well. I mean to see how some of you other diarylanders deal with everyday life has been inspiring. My trials and tribulations are very minimal as compared to some people out there and now I can see that. I knew going into this whole thing that I would benefit from it. You can tell that from my very first entry. So thanks! Especially bethany for if it wasn't for you, I would not even know what diaryland was.

Later,ROB