slacker
2005-03-12 || 1:04 a.m.

Slacker
Man I have been slacking off big time when it comes to this diary lately. Well I am going to attempt to write a coherent entry now. First off....I'm fucking shitfaced. Drunk to the bejesus belts whatever that means. I have so much on my mind lately that I can't think strait. I had a really bad day today. Work sucked today And I mean really sucked. The guy I work with has had some serious medical problems lately and he just returned to work today after a few months off. He has to be on light duty from here on out and the company probably won't keep him there for very long. he's worked for the company for 27 years and their likely going to give him the boot. He's fifty seven and just bought a new house (his first house mind you). We were talking today and he said to me " I just bought my house finally and now I'm probably going to lose it". As he said this he sort of choked up to hold back a good cry. I felt so bad for him. He is a great guy and a hard fucking worker. I hope he will be alright.
Then I had a doctor appointment and it didn't go too well. I have been on blood pressure medication for about three months and my blood pressure was still 160 over 114. It was a little better than before the medication but not much better. And my cholesterol was 330. Fuck! So naturaly the healthiest thing to do after finding this all out is to get piss drunk.
Then I get home and the wife must be PMSing or something because every time I opened my mouth she seemed annoyed. She quit her job recently which doesn't bother me a bit because now she's home with the kids full time and I'd rather it be that way. But she still seems on edge. Things are not that great right now. I hope things improve because I fucking love her so much.
So now I'm learning the lyrics to a song that my Brother-in-law wants me to sing at his wedding. It's "True Companion" by Marc Cohn. Check out the lyrics. It's a great fucking song. I can't wait to sing it. It's right up my alley as far as vocals go.
I came on here tonight to write about what's on my mind and I can't seem to let it out. I think the problem is that I'm too laid back. I could be on the verge of fucking bankruptcy and I would be cracking jokes. It's a problem because I can't let it out. I need to just spill everything that secretly bothers me but I can't. Even shitfaced I can't. It's like my body and my mind won't let me get upset about anything. I feel myself starting to get full of conflict. I just don't know how to let it all out. I let it out once a few years ago and felt so much better after but for some reason I can't seem to get there this time. This all sounds so stupid right now but I'm hoping I'll read this later and it will set something off. Just when I think I'm Mr. Got Everything Together I realize that I'm as fucked up as the other guy.

sorry ....I took a break there for a minute to get some beers.
I never updated about our gig last weekend in Hershey. I put some pictures up on my Pictures page so check the out. They're in the album that says "Chicks March 05". I think they explain the night pretty well. Any way.....I think I'm going to go to the kitchen and eat some animal fat with as much sodium as possible to see how good this medication I'm taking really works. I have a big bottle of kikkoman soy sauce with my name on it just waitng in the frig. FUCK ME!!
I hope everyone is well out the in D-land. Though I know none of you personally I feel like you, at times, are my closest friends. I tell you all things that I tell no one. It feels really good. Thanks for listening.
Later,ROB